Monday, June 9, 2008

Who Will Rescue Me From This Body of Death?


A man named R.D. Laing once said that life is a sexually transmitted disease, and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.

Overall, this is a disgusting way to think about God-given, God-breathed life. Approaching each day I live with that sort of attitude leads simply to despair. But there are a few elements of human life that I think Laing is hinting at here:

- The Fallen World: Sin is most assuredly at work in both the spiritual and the physical. We most often think about sin in the spiritual sense. But notice that in Genesis 3, God's description of the curse of the fall is almost wholly physical.

- Decay of the Physical: In life, we all must experience the reality of decay, the breaking-down of our physical bodies. In youth, there is a carefree enjoyment of the gift of good health; but even still, some of the young know only physical suffering. In age, there comes a sometimes gradual, sometimes rapid, deterioration of the systems and functions of the human body.

- Inevitability of Death: "All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full..." (Ecclesiastes 1:7a). Both Scripture and, even more vividly, our own human experience, tell us the truth of human mortality.

There have been many writers, thinkers, and artists that have contemplated all of this far more deeply and with far more eloquence than I, but I wanted to share these thoughts because my view of these truths has been sharpened in a strange way recently.

Over the past 48 hours, the limitations and imperfections of my own physical body have been made very apparent. Not only did I badly sprain my ankle (I heard ligaments popping out of place at the time I injured it), but also a quite potent virus that has gotten into my system. Saturday night, I spent hours icing and elevating the unrelenting throbbing in my ankle. The next morning, I awoke to violent stomach pains, resulting in some fairly unpleasant occurrences throughout the entire day yesterday and an inability to keep any food or drink down (I'll leave it at that). I found myself immobilized, sleeping for short periods, unable to focus on any real thought or conversation, and with a pounding headache to boot. As I write this morning, some of the stomach pain has subsided, but I can feel a tingling soreness in the back of my throat that tells me I will probably be coughing for the rest of the week.

I say all of this, however, not to complain. In fact, I am even now reminded of how thankful I should be that these are the only things with which I am suffering. I have a feeling that within the next few days, my sickness will be gone, and my ankle will hopefully feel significantly better. One of my friends who is currently battling cancer, who has already experienced all these symptoms and more for the past several months, and who has a long month of chemotherapy treatments ahead of her - she, if anyone, would have a right to complain.

Rather, I am now simply thankful and thoughtful. Sickness and injury can give us a more concrete way of pondering the idea of a final sleep, a concept I often find far too abstract to wrap my mind around.

My thankfulness is twofold:
- I am thankful in the short-term, for the physical provision that the Lord offers me even now. I am thankful for His healing and his sustenance.
- I am thankful in the long-term, for the physical restoration that the Lord will bring about. He "will transform these humble bodies of ours into the likeness of His glorious body" (Phil. 3:21) and "the body that is sown perishable will be raised imperishable" (1 Cor 15:42).

"Just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven." (1 Cor 15:49)

For a long time, 1 Corinthians 15 has been one of my most cherished passages of Scripture. It offers hope of a kind that no other earthly leader can. Obama may promise change, but we know that his sort of change can only go so far. Christ promises that "we will be changed" (1 Cor. 15:52b) and that we will be clothed with the imperishable.

Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Friday, June 6, 2008

Please Refrain From Reading This Post

…trust me. It’s way too long and crappy. The last paragraph is the only place that even starts to be good, and it’s rough too.
There, I covered my behind from any judgment you might make about me or my writing. I can now continue free of care:

You know, I’ve been thinking a bit lately about this blog thing.

How many times have I opened up my browser, clicked the link to my own blog, and stared disappointedly at the same old post that’s been there for a month? More than I care to say. Every time I see that I haven’t updated, it makes me want to update less. What do I have to say right now? Frankly, until this week, I had essentially put my brain in sleep mode, at least in terms of the things I normally ponder almost perpetually: faith, music, politics, life, people, justice, Frisbee, and food.

So maybe those last two I ponder simply to the extent of a desire to be experiencing them at most every hour of the day. The others, I’d say, tend to command a level of depth in thought that, quite frankly, I’m not really smart enough to maintain for more than a few minutes at a time. Seriously, though, I think I’ve been afraid to post because I think I don’t have anything to say that’s insightful enough to share with you, the reader. This is not to say that I haven’t been thinking at all for the last month. Maybe what’s been happening has simply been too personal or, more likely, too undeveloped to put into writing.

But that’s often my problem. Writing only comes naturally when I begin to do it. The desire to begin is almost never there. So here I am, starting an entry once again; and once again, I have to get things underway by metablogging. In my opinion, the only thing more lame/pitiful than writing about writing is to write about… just that. You see, the more you start to think about thinking, the more layers of thought you find yourself caught thinking. The only real way to redeem such a feedback loop of thought is to think critically about the loop in which you find yourself, which only makes matters worse. Try this:

Think about yourself thinking. Do this for a moment, and suddenly, you will feel quite silly. When you start to feel silly, you have become keenly aware of the fact that you are now transcendentally thinking about thinking about thinking. But just before you attempt to articulate that sense in any meaningful way (even to yourself), the moment has slipped away below countless layers of thought. You quickly re-set your feet in reality, by wiping clean the slate and thinking about something else. This all will happen in the course of about 10 seconds.

If that was difficult for you, try to do it in writing. This will clarify the absurdity of the whole process in that it leaves the thinker/writer altogether inarticulate. That is, he or she simply cannot articulate nearly as quickly as he or she can observe that articulation, which as he or she proceeds to observe, is equally inexpressible, except to begin to describe it in words as these I have written for the past two and a half paragraphs, only to be left with words like “absurd” or “silly” to describe the whole situation.

One useful thought occurs to me, however, and that is, in the form of a question, “Why does a thought have to be useful in order to be a valuable thought?” I can think about things for a long time about which someone might say, “this is not a helpful thought.” But is this not an over-pragmatized definition of the validity or worth of a thought? Do my thoughts have value only if they lead to some “useful” end? Who says whether something is “useful”?

The concept of “value” is somewhat problematic. When you look it up in my Mac’s onboard dictionary, you cyclically connect to three words: importance, attention, and significance. This latter concept is a bit more helpful in that it ties to the concept of meaning, or rather ties fairly closely to usefulness. So value, by definition, does have something to do with usefulness. But what is “useful”?

This is interesting too: try looking up the word “useful.” Here’s the definition I get: “able to be used for a practical purpose or in several ways.”
This definition is somewhat problematic in its use of the root word to clarify meaning. For fun, let’s see how it defines the root word: “take, hold, or deploy (something) as a means of accomplishing a purpose or achieving a result.”

Hmm. These definitions seem only to lead to more definitions. Okay, bear with me for the next few minutes as I take us down a definition path. The bolded words are words that I will seek to define. Italicized words are ones we’ve already attempted to define (and thus, are somewhat of a dead-end, or perhaps more accurately a feedback loop, in ascertaining meaning). When I put a word in ALL CAPS, I will save that word for later because it seems important. Remember, if this gets a bit tedious, I already warned you not to read this post. Really, you can skip to the last section of definitions (capitalized ones) if you like, and just trust that I have more or less faithfully pursued definitions to that end. The choice is yours…

Here goes:

Useful – able to be used for a practical purpose or in several ways.
Use – take, hold, or deploy as a means of accomplishing a purpose or achieving a result
Purpose – the reason for which something is done or created or for which something EXISTS
Create – bring into EXISTENCE
Reason – a cause, explanation, or justification for an ACTION or event
Cause – a PERSON or THING that gives rise to an ACTION, phenomenon, or condition

Result – a consequence, effect, or outcome of something
Consequence – a result or effect of an action or condition
Effect – a change that is a result or consequence of an action or other cause
Action – the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim
Aim – a purpose or intention; a desired outcome
Outcome – the way a thing turns out; a consequence
Intention – a thing intended; an aim or plan
Plan – a detailed proposal for DOING or achieving something
Achieve – reach or attain
Reach – attain or extend to (a specified point, level, or condition)
Point – a particular spot, PLACE, or position
Attain – succeed in achieving
Intend – have as one’s purpose or objective
Objective – a thing aimed at or sought
Seek – attempt to find
Find – discover or perceive
Discover – find unexpectedly
Perceive – become aware or conscious of; come to realize or understand
Realize – become fully aware of as a FACT
Aware – having knowledge or perception of a situation or FACT
Knowledge – FACTS, information, and skills
Situation – set of circumstances in which one finds oneself
Circumstances – a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an EVENT or ACTION
Understand – perceive the intended meaning of
Meaning – what is meant by a word, text, concept, or action
Mean – intend to convey, indicate, or refer
Indicate – point out; show
Show – be or allow or cause to be visible
Visible – able to be seen
See – perceive with the eyes
Convey – transport or carry to a PLACE

DO – perform (an action)
EXIST – having objective reality or being
Objective – not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts
Reality – the world or the state of THINGS as they actually exist
Be - exist
FACT – a thing that is indisputably the case (an instance (occurrence (event)))
PLACE – a particular position or point in space
Position – a place where someone or something is located
Locate – discover the exact place or position of
EVENT – a thing that happens (take place; occur)→ all three definitions for “happen,” “take place,” and “occur” all lead back to each other
HAPPEN – (alt. definition) ensue as an effect or result of an action or event



ACTION – the fact or process of doing something
SOMETHING – a thing that is unspecified
THING – an object that one need not, cannot, or does not wish to give a specific name to
SOMEONE – an unknown or unspecified person
PERSON – a human being regarded as an individual
Individual – a single human being
Human being – a man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens
Man – an adult human male
Woman – an adult human female
Child – a young human being
OBJECT – a person or thing to which a specified action or feeling is directed

Thus, after a quasi-exhaustive exploration of meaning beneath the concept of "usefulness," the resultant and elemental concepts are (surprise, surprise):
- ACTION (verb)
- PERSON (noun, pt 1)
- PLACE (noun, pt 2)
- THING (noun, pt 3)
- OBJECT (nouns, all)
These, as you must already know, are the most basic building blocks of language. Because all nouns can function grammatically as subjects and objects, and because all subjects are objects in and of themselves, language conveys, at its most basic level: ACTION & OBJECT.
Such concepts are all rooted in the concept of EXISTENCE.

Therefore, in my (very) crude exploration of our language, no thought can actually be deemed “not useful” other than the thought which has yet to be thought. Some might argue that a thought does not actually have existence in the same sense as people, places, and things. But Plato would say that a thought, or IDEA, has “eternal existence” as a pattern of which individual things in any class are imperfect copies, and in such a sense, has a more “real” existence than any noun. But then again, that’s Plato. Here is perhaps where my argument breaks down.

But I’ve yet to make an argument! I got ahead of myself. I will conclude (finally) with this:

Usefulness or purpose is almost inseparably tied to existence. I believe, as many of you do, that existence has come from an Uncaused Causer, or rather, God Himself. That is, however, an argument for another day. Assuming God has created us, He has done so implicitly giving us (and all other existent things) purpose, usefulness, and meaning.

So maybe the things I have to say don’t have much use to anyone, but they will almost always be more useful when existing as opposed to not (i.e. “unwritten”). Words have some level, however small, of inherent use and purpose. This use only comes alive when the words themselves do. When a writer articulates, he or she implies meaning, purpose, and value, as long as the words are somewhat definable and ordered. In this way, value is tied directly to the one articulated simply based on his or her act of ordered articulation. My words have meaning because I give it to them by writing them, although the meanings of words do objectively transcend my existence, and ultimately are determined by the eternal God. But at the most basic level, I convey meaning that is at least partially or imperfectly tied to my own existence. I digress, however, and perhaps it is more helpful to think not of my words, but God's.

When God articulated (spoke) the world – all people, places, and things – into existence, He placed within all of this inherent meaning, purpose, and value.

Even as the words fell from His lips, existence for us all happened, and with it, a value given implicitly by He whose existence goes beyond value. What a priceless existence we lead.

To Him be the glory.

PS – Take all of this to its logical conclusion for a moment. No longer must we concern ourselves with living a life that is (pardon my slight sarcasm) “purpose-driven.” All humans lead a purpose-infused life whether they like it or not. The best we can do is to try to live with a keen awareness of the purpose we already have, and the glory that every knee and every tongue, if not now, then, brings to Him that spoke its existence. From the most righteous to the most evil, each of us ultimately brings God glory as beings created, sustained, and restored (or judged) by Him. I am free from the concern of my own value or purpose, for it is hidden within my existence, over which I have no authority. The authority of Christ achieves for me a value and purpose that goes unsurpassed by anything I can conjure up on my own. “I am His.” No other statement can convey a higher value. No other reality can exceed this truth in worth.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Nice Whig


There is something more winsome and more genuine about British political figures. Ever since I first heard Tony Blair speak, I've thought so.

A new mayor was elected in London a few days ago. His name is Boris Johnson, which sounds to me like a strange Russian-English hybrid sort of person. Nevertheless, this guy is a joker. Everything about his victory speech - from his crazy hair and casual demeanor to his candid, complementary comments about his opponents, not to mention the awesome concluding remarks - spoke of a kind of genuineness and sincerity that I think is missing in American politics. He even made a statement to "the vast multitudes" who voted against him, "I will work flat-out from now on to earn your trust..." and later stated to his supporting voters, "I know there will be many whose pencils hovered for an instant before putting their 'x' in my box. I will work flat-out to repay and to justify your confidence."

Now I know that a politician is a politician is a politician. But there is just something that is enjoyable about seeing a political speech from another culture. It's just refreshing. Maybe we should switch leaders with the U.K. for a year and just see how it goes. They can't do too much harm, and they might even have a few good ideas to bring the from the other side of the pond.

Plus, how can't you like a speech that ends, "Let's get cracking tomorrow. Let's have a drink tonight."


I lose. We win.

Arise, O Lord, let not man triumph; let the nations be judged in your presence.
Psalm 9:19

I was listening to my mp3 Bible (read by Max McLean, about whose voice the jury is still out) on my way to Starbuck's today. I went to Starbuck's. Get over it. Have you ever tried Izze fruit beverages? They have them there. Anyway...

I was cruising up to the parking lot - cars on I-69 whizzing inches from me - and right before I turned off the engine, I heard the above verse. The following interpretation is taken somewhat out of context, but since I am no longer a Bible student, and a Higher Ed. student instead, I will proceed as I please.

Fun fact: Psalms 9 & 10 quite possibly were originally written as an acrostic poem, each stanza beginning with successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet (which I know, kind of). Thanks ESV footnotes!

Digression over. The words "let not man triumph" bounced around numerous times in my brain as I made my way into the store. It's a prayer that I need to pray now, because I know that when I really need to pray it, I probably won't.

And when I say pray it, I mean for myself. In all my grappling with God - whether it be the sinful nature that continues to be at work in me, the submission of my desires and ambitions to His will, or simply my unrelenting unwillingness to accept things that are true about myself, about the cosmos, and about God - I need to pray in advance that I will lose.

If that sounds counterintuitive, it's because it is.

counterintuitive |ˌkountərinˈt(y)oōitiv|adjective
contrary to intuition or to common-sense expectation (but often nevertheless true).


Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm not competitive, or that I think sports are dumb. These are most often times when I find myself completely outmatched by those competing around me. In reality, I really want to win. I'm usually good at keeping my wits about me on the court or the field, but that doesn't mean that winning isn't important to me. I was reminded of this fact on Thursday evening, as I stomped off the field where my ultimate team had just been stomped in much the same fashion. In moments like that, there's nothing to be done that will assuage the anger/frustration/humiliation of losing. And then, as if it weren't bad enough, we had to hold hands in a circle and pray. Awful.

Really, inside of me lives a noxious rebel that wants only for himself to prevail, for his name to be praised by others, for his desires to be met, for his purposes to be achieved. It is an ugly thing, but it is necessary, as I have said, to pray for my own defeat now, when I feel a bit more aware of this rebellious fellow. He needs to lose, or else I will big time, ultimately.

I suppose that this brings a bit of clarity to the notion of gaining one's life by losing it: victory through defeat. I need God to win so that I will lose, so that, with Him, I will win; or rather, we will win. Really it's simple, and as usual, that's the problem. Those truths which appear to be - and essentially are - the most simple are those with which I most often struggle.

But God is just. He will ultimately not allow me to win when I do not deserve it, nor will He allow injustice to prevail. In the end, His righteousness (a.k.a. justice) will rain down:
Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the Lord,
until he comes
and showers righteousness on you.
Hosea 10:12
Cool. I want to break up my unplowed ground now and ready myself for that shower, because I know that when it comes, I'll probably want to run inside out of the rain - when in reality, the shower is exactly what I need. Hosea speaks of preparation, making straight the way of the Lord (cf. John the Baptist, Mt. 3:3).

It's also neat to think about how the Lord's justice will bring about a righting of all the wrongs of injustice in the world today. This week was Social Justice Week at Taylor. I'm so relevant.

By the way, isn't that picture awesome?


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

New Music Springs Forth

May 6
Barenaked Ladies - Snacktime (kids album)





May 13
Death Cab for Cutie - Narrow Stairs






June 17
Coldplay - Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends





Weezer - Weezer (The Red Album)








Singles Available
Weezer's "Pork and Beans" (available on iTunes)
Coldplay's "Violet Hill" (available FREE until May 6)

Other new releases set for 2008
Dave Matthews Band
David Gray
Oasis
The Postal Service
U2



My Approach To Graduate Studies


cartoon from www.weblogcartoons.com

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

40 Days & 40 Nights

Well, I've managed to pull off my 40 day fast from blogging. It was tough, but here I am: alive and well.

A quick catch-up on life so far:

The NCAA tournament came and went. I'll say no more.

Spring Break to Chicago was phenomenal. So many lessons learned. Such a great team of students. My first legitimate trip to the Windy City gets an A+.

Highlights included:
- Broccicles: the answer to a healthier generation of Americans
- Gaining a better understanding of God's heart for the poor
- Driving to O'Hare about seventy times (or 3) in Taylor vans
- Challenged thinking about our role in racial reconciliation
- An exploding L train
- Tours of some of the most incredible ministries (especially Pacific Garden Mission)
- Slashed tires (I hate Wheaton)
- Great teaching from the staff at Sunshine Gospel Ministries
- Fantastic food (Chinatown, Little India, Chicago-style pizza)
- Conversations with strangers on public transit and McDonald's/Dunkin Donuts
- 18 wonderful students
- 2 world-class co-leaders
- More fun than a flaming barrel of juggling monkeys riding on unicycles
- Changed hearts with regard to how we should live in light of this incredible 10 days

The post-Chicago return to Upland found me in the midst of one of the toughest academic stretches of my life. Having only been back in Indiana for 4 days, I found myself leaving my wonderful Box at 4 in the morning to catch a flight for the great and wild Pacific northwest. It was a great chance to lead worship at Resonate Church, and to catch up with old friends Hatfield and Kinder. Seattle is a great city; too bad I was doing homework a majority of the weekend. The flight was quite possibly the most productive one I've ever experienced. All that is to say: I made it through.

The next weekend was National Student Leadership Conference here at Taylor. Speakers like J.P. Moreland and Kelly Monroe Kuhlberg made things quite memorable and quite challenging. It inspired my goal of reading one book per week this summer...ambitious?

Last weekend found me deep in the throws of Youth Conference 2008. The Bedinghaus Band (photo courtesy: Karen Taylor) assembled from all the corners of this great nation, including places like Pittsburgh and San Diego, not to mention Grant County Indiana, and rocked six straight worship sets, 2 marathon rehearsals, and 1 outdoor concert...in the course of less than 60 hours. In addition, we partnered with some friends from the Gospel Choir here at TU and had an absolute blast. The weekend was a great success, the most energetic, most fun YC I've ever been a part of (this was my fourth straight). It was also a pleasure to have fellow Jessamine Countian Travis Whalen in the house as the featured speaker for the conference, and the incomparable Rachel Sawyer at the helm (one of YC's co-directors). All in all, central Kentucky made its presence KNOWn...

This past weekend was Heritage Weekend at Taylor, as well as Grandparent's Day, the two-year anniversary of the accident, and the opening and dedication of our brand new prayer chapel here on campus. It was an emotionally intense time, but a good time for our community here.

On a final note, Barack Obama came to Marion, IN! I couldn't believe it when I heard he would be in Grant Co. Naturally, I had to go see this for myself. So we left early on Saturday morning to wait in line for 2 hours in the fairly cold April morning air outside Marion high school. It was well worth it. Barack is even more impressive in person (photo courtesy: Luke Owsley). Something tells me we will be seeing a lot more of this guy...I won't go more into this, b/c I could, and it could literally be 6 or 7 more blog entries on each of the major issues touched on during the 60+ minutes he graced the stage.


In conclusion, it's been a whirlwind 40 days. I've maybe had the equivalent of 25 actual full nights of sleep, but in the end, it's been worth it. All the hard work, the investment of time and energy, the emotional, physical, and intellectual struggle that has taken place, the spiritual challenges, valleys, and victories, and all the laughs, tears, travels, conversations, songs, and lest I forget, probably multiple gallons of coffee...these are the substance of my life as a 22-year old man trying to get through grad school, and of a sinner constantly being made aware of his need for the grace that comes only from a God who has made Himself known and has vested in me His own Spirit to equip me in fulfilling all He has called me to be and to do.

Life is, in the end, a beautiful thing, if for no other reason than our God-given ability to look back on it and say, "Lord, thanks for it all: the good and the bad. This is who I am. This is who You've made me to be. Keep making more of Yourself in me."